John 15:9-17
9 As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. 10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. 11 I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.
12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.13 No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.14 You are my friends if you do what I command you. 15 I do not call you servantsany longer, because the
servantdoes not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. 16 You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. 17 I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.
This passage says a lot about love, doesn’t it? What does Jesus’ love look like? Oftentimes I’m asked at weddings to read the “love chapter” found in 1 Corinthians 13. It has beautiful poetry, but it’s not really just about love between two persons…no one can love that way except for, with, and through God. It’s a chapter describing perfect love, sit back, close your eyes, soak in these words from part of this chapter as if God is speaking directly to you from deep inside you and from all around you:
PP
13 If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast,but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Wow. And, this is what Jesus is saying to us. Live, or abide, remain in my love. Jesus isn’t going anywhere, as a matter of fact, Jesus is present with us, right now…as we sit in our homes online or here in the sanctuary, wondering what’s going to happen next in these seasons of so much personal, cultural, political, and religious shifting, what is the new “normal”, we are not alone. Jesus is with us…and is chasing after us…won’t give up on us.
I love this passage, Jesus tells his disciples that he no longer calls them servants, but friends. That’s a big statement. One that says, if you abide in that friendship, then you will produce amazing fruit.
Friendships looks like this:
One of my best friends in my twenties was Jay. I’ve talked about him before. Jay was simply amazing. Great athlete, musician, lots of charisma, looked like James Dean. His family had owned the patent to frozen yeast and also owned several bakeries throughout the world. He seemingly had it made. Yet, underneath, he was deeply struggling with the death of his dad in his teenage years and his mom’s impending death during much of our 20’s through MS.
He was a youth group leader, but after a while, quit that, left the church, and went into a
season of life trying to numb himself of the pain in as many ways that he could.
Jay and I still got together, he was one of my best friends. But, there was a period of a few months where we weren’t around each other. We got together for dinner with a friend and he leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, “I’m back”. He went on to say that he simply could not get away from God. That God kept on chasing him even when he was so numb from whatever he was using. God’s love always breaks through eventually…either in this life or the next. I believe that God’s love was even more real and deeper during Jay’s season of numbness.
Jesus was and is present with each of us. It’s hard, I know, especially in this season of disruption and division all around us, and even within us, to recognize that at times…but when we begin to move towards understanding ourselves, asking the really hard questions and confronting the things in our lives that prevent us from experiencing the depth in knowing who we are and who God is, we can begin to truly be present with ourselves, others, and God. We begin to experience love.
How does one become friends with God, how does one love, it starts with a deep acceptance that you are loved, to befriend your own soul.
When my mom died, I began to read the writings of John O’Donohue more closely. Again, O’Donohue was an Irish Catholic priest, a poet, theologian, and philosopher. One book in particular was “Anam Cara”, which is Gaelic for “Soul Friend”.
John O’Donohue, says this:
In the Celtic tradition, there is a beautiful understanding of love and friendship. One of the fascinating ideas here is the idea of soul-love; the old Gaelic term for this is anam ċara. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul and ċara is the word for friend. So anam ċara in the Celtic world was the “soul friend.” In the early Celtic church, a person who acted as a teacher, companion, or spiritual guide was called an anam ċara. It originally referred to someone to whom you confessed, revealing the hidden intimacies of your life. With the anam ċara you could share your inner-most self, your mind and your heart. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. When you had an anam ċara, your friendship cut across all convention, morality, and category. You were joined in an ancient and eternal way with the “friend of your soul.” The Celtic understanding did not set limitations of space or time on the soul. There is no cage for the soul. The soul is a divine light that flows into you and into your Other. This art of belonging awakened and fostered a deep and special companionship.
O’Donohue goes on to say that you cannot be an Anam Cara with someone else until you become one with yourself. When you have befriended all of you. Honestly, that’s been a huge part of my journey over the years. Father Richard Bollman, a Jesuit priest, was my spiritual director for years until he had to retire due to health reasons, would also share with me the concept of Anam Cara. We would discuss often that I have, at different times in my life, defined myself by achievement and what others think. Yet, God’s love that resides within me, that prayer that God prays for me, moves me towards love of my True Self and then, out of that love, love for all things and people.
Friendship means a lot to me. I am committed to the path of friendship with my self to flow and then flow into others. As your pastor, I have said that I want to be your friend also. As we’ve said before, we’ve donated a lot of trust to one another. In this flow, my goodness, we are producing some amazing fruit together, aren’t we?
As I practice friendship, sometimes in beautifully messy ways, I find that friendships can lead towards common good and growth. Many of my friends in this city and around the world are all working towards seeing goodness happen in communities with the church being a part of that goodness…being a place of generosity and momentum towards others and each other.
Sometimes we may think that we’d like to simply shirk away from friendship, from being present, even with God. Maybe we’ve been hurt or feel misunderstood. Yet, as we read this morning, God says to us, you didn’t choose this friendship, I chose you. I think that says so much about God…a practical takeaway from what I’m sharing is this…YOU are loved, God is present with you, cultivate that understanding, and know that God desires for the best for you…and for this church.
I think that’s why I’m so curious and grateful about what we are about at Westwood First. I don’t know what the future holds, I don’t know what church will look like after this current season of change, but I know that we are here, present with one another and that we are together in this and will grow and change. We will move towards a great new chapter in our story…Jesus says again in this week’s passage that he will give us whatever we ask for! It’s interesting that Jesus said this in last week’s passage and now again this week…And, here we are, we are in this liminal space, this threshold in culture, and as a church, and as persons! We live in “apocalyptic” times…folks often think that means the end of the world, but that’s not what it means,…no, it’s simply a term that says that some things are ending in order to make room for something new to emerge..over time. And, in God, and in God’s love, we can place our trust in that it will be good for us and for others.
Trust it…accept it. Receive this love and bear fruit! Allow yourself to befriend yourself and others…may this be a congregation of soul friends!
Jesus embodies this soul friendship, this. love, Jesus is here, present with you through his spirit the Holy Spirit, that connects all of us and all of this…and ultimately keeps us firmly in friendship with God.
May we love one another and our neighbors (which means everyone) well…may we live in this flow and dance to the music of God’s love for us as we befriend ourselves and one another!