marriage

Living.

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PRAYER FOR ILLUMINATION

“God of life, you summon the day to dawn and call me to create with you. You are the Rock from which all earth is fashioned. You are the Food from which all souls are fed. You are the Force from which all power lines travel. You are the Source who is creation’s fountainhead. You are the Heart from which all hearts are beating. You are the Mind from which come thoughts and dreams. You are the Eye from which comes all my seeing. You are the Gift from whom all mercy streams. You are the Ache from which comes all my longing. You are the Pain in which I bear my grief. You are the Wind by which all souls go winging. You are the One from whom flows all my life.”

―Ray Simpson, Celtic Prayers for the Rhythm of Each Day

Luke 20:27-38

The Question about the Resurrection

27 Some Sadducees, those who say there is no resurrection, came to him28 and asked him a question, “Teacher, Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies, leaving a wife but no children, the man[a] shall marry the widow and raise up children for his brother. 29 Now there were seven brothers; the first married, and died childless; 30 then the second31 and the third married her, and so in the same way all seven died childless. 32 Finally the woman also died. 33 In the resurrection, therefore, whose wife will the woman be? For the seven had married her.”

34 Jesus said to them, “Those who belong to this age marry and are given in marriage; 35 but those who are considered worthy of a place in that age and in the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage. 36 Indeed they cannot die anymore, because they are like angels and are children of God, being children of the resurrection.37 And the fact that the dead are raised Moses himself showed, in the story about the bush, where he speaks of the Lord as the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. 38 Now he is God not of the dead, but of the living; for to him all of them are alive.”

Footnotes:

  1. Luke 20:28 Gk his brother

When I was a freshman in high school, I used to love getting into debates with my older sister who was a senior at the time. My sister is brilliant, she was in the highest academic school in Louisville, where we grew up, made straight “A’s” and went to the University of Louisville on a full academic scholarship that I think ended up paying her to go to school. So, when we got into a debate, I would look for those moments, you know, the “gotcha” moment. Now, we had some good debates on politics, religion, family life, etc. But, the one debate that would get heated was which was a better school? The university of Louisville, or Kentucky? 

One day, I had the gotcha with her as we were having a rather heated “dialogue” on the two schools…my sister, Beckie, got so frustrated with me, she picked up a chair and threw it at me…luckily, she wasn’t a good shot and missed me, but she did hit the door next to me pretty hard…there was a big hole in it…can’t hide that. 

When mom and dad got home…you can guess who got into trouble.  My sister are I fine together these days…not much debate on UK or UL. Much deeper things…

But, it was a moment back in our teenage years of wanting to win.  

This is an odd story in our gospel lesson…it’s about marriage, and in the first century, they had traditions that we don’t understand.  And, there’s some deeper going on, the Sadducees are trying to win an argument, much like my sister and I were trying to do those many years ago.

And, I have to admit, my first thought in reading this passage reminds me of the scene of the marriage ceremony from the moving “Princess Bride”.  

So, our message this morning is about marriage…or “twu wuv”.  Let’s dig deeper.

Our gospel story this morning is about this group of folks called the Sadducees.  They understood the law of the day well, they were also a part of the power structure of that day.  They came to Jesus with a question about marriage…but, they really were not interested in a conversation about marriage.  They wanted to debate, to work towards a “gotcha” moment with Jesus.  The Sadducees, along with the religious leaders, the Pharisees, sat on top of the proverbial social order.  They had it made.  Along comes Jesus making all sorts of statements, interpreting things differently, having a different take on the temple and its future, talking about relationships over institutional preservation…saying things like the Kingdom of God is here, in our midst.  

So, the Sadducees did just that, they presented Jesus with an issue to try and trip him up.  They were devout Jews, but they were also rational thinkers and didn’t believe in the resurrection.  They believed that when you died, you died.

The Sadducees brought up this issue of a woman marrying someone, then her husband dying without a son, marrying his brother, then the same thing happening several times, but still without a son.  She would die eventually without an heir, therefore, with Jewish custom of that day, she would not have a strong identity.  Because she had no children, no one could make claim…so, in the resurrection, whose wife would she be?  This was a patriarchal society, and even this question has undertones of 1st century sexism and unhealthy patriarchy.  But, they were trying to trick Jesus into either denying the resurrection, or making a social statement about marriage.

Jesus, gives a wonderful answer.  It’s interesting to note the tone as well.  Jesus is being treated in a very condescending way, he’s also being pushed into an argument that he doesn’t really care to win or lose…that’s not Jesus’ way…winning or losing.  Jesus is more interested in people and authentic friendships, Kingdom living….real living than some philosophical question about marriage in the resurrection.  

Jesus knows that this question isn’t about marriage…it’s about power, control, and the Sadducees wanting to prove their worth by trying to get Jesus in a gotcha moment.  

Who was going to be married to who in heaven wasn’t an issue…marriage is a gift in this life to be shared equally between folks, but even the question of would there be marriage in heaven is moot.  In the resurrection, there is only pure relationship, real life, and it’s not hierarchal or sexist.  It’s interesting to note that he mentions casually that no one is “given” away in the resurrection…thus a simple statement that takes away the patriarchal system of giving women away at the time.

He goes on to paint a picture that in the resurrection, one is with God and with others in perfect, loving unity.  That’s the way of the Kingdom, that’s where we want to live and find our being, now and in the future.

They were using a trap, but Jesus steps over it.  He also quotes from Moses at the burning bush.  When Moses asks God what his name is, Moses responds by saying that he is the God of Jacob, of Isaiah, etc.  The God of the living, not the dead.  

Friends, how is this applicable to us today?  Well, my hope is that you see many things in this passage in Jesus’ actions to not get caught up in trying to prove yourself through winning arguments…which is a good reminder in this endless election season.  But, to also see that God calls us to be alive, truly alive.  We do experience death…not only physical death, but relational death with others, and even within ourselves.  We see this often in how we treat others or are treated by others in ways where we try to somehow “win” rather than simply love and work towards unity or true friendship.  Yet, there is a better way.  As Jesus followers, we are called to love as Jesus loved, to practice true love if you will.  How did Jesus love so well?  Because he allowed himself to die to himself and others…daily, and at the end of his life…knowing that love always wins and leads to resurrection.  A new and fresh start.  We spend so much time living the way we’ve always lived or thinking and acting at how we always have, but God calls us to follow the way of Jesus and to die to ourselves in order to have resurrection and to truly find ourselves.  

Our church is experiencing resurrection…I see it, glimpses of it all of the time…we are having lots of good discussions around here, and in the midst of those, we are moving towards new life as we let go of winning and let God move and dance in our friendships with each other and with others in our neighborhoods and families.  

We are invited to live into this resurrection life daily…we are all one body. 

One.

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PRAYER FOR ILLUMINATION

We seldom notice how each day is a holy place

Where the eucharist of the ordinary happens,

Transforming our broken fragments

Into an eternal continuity that keeps us.

Somewhere in us a dignity presides

That is more gracious than the smallness

That fuels us with fear and force,

A dignity that trusts the form a day takes. 

So at the end of this day, we give thanks

For being betrothed to the unknown

And for the secret work

Through which the mind of the day

And wisdom of the soul become one. 

– John O’Donohue

Mark 10:2-16

2 Some Pharisees came, and to test him they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3 He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.” 5 But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you. 6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,[a]8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

10 Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. 11 He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

13 People were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to them. 14 But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. 15 Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” 16 And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.

Debbie and I have a unique story of how we moved towards marriage and how our marriage has turned out over the years.  Of course, everyone has a unique story in their lives as well.  It’s crazy at times though to think about it.  

Debbie and I met at the University of Kentucky.  We dated off and on, more off than on, actually.  But we did become great friends.  

Eventually, about 8-9 years after we first met, things changed between us and we had a growing sense that we’d be getting married. And, we did.  It’s been an adventure…and lots of misadventures, over the years…and, honestly, our story has had moments of wondering what we were thinking 27 years ago and even wondering where we are going.  It’s had some really hard things to walk through…as well as some really good things.  

In our gospel text, the folks questioning Jesus were not trying to be funny.  They were trying to put Jesus in a box with this question of marriage and divorce.  It was political given that the Jewish king, Herod, had just married his brother’s wife after she divorced him.  It really had much more to do with getting Jesus in trouble with the authorities than proving a moral argument.  

At the time, Mosaic law had allowed a woman or a man to divorce their spouse easily.  In a patriarchal society though, that would be tough on a woman, as they would generally not have a way to support themselves and their children, if they had any.  And, the man could initiate a divorce, but not the woman.

Plus, Jesus, as he often did, takes this discussion into a deeper place of understanding.  Marriage and divorce were defined radically different in the 1st century, and it is hard for us to put ourselves in the context of 2000 years ago, but we can get the trajectory of what Jesus is saying in this passage. That persons can be called together for a season and that everyone is of value, regardless of marital status.  And, he also takes Jewish law at the time and says that both persons are subject to their understanding of adultery.  Which, again, is different today than 2000 years ago.  The Bible has lots of different definitions of adultery, and we are not going to get into all of them today, but in Jewish understanding, it could be defined as idolatry…placing something that you want over your made in the image of God Self.  Let that sink in for a bit, God is calling us away from any attachment that divides us and keeps us away from the God who resides within us and around us…as scripture says elsewhere, God is a jealous God and wants us to be fully alive and whole…

And, also remember that in the Gospel of both Mark and Luke in other passages, Jesus states that there is no marriage in heaven…that it’s not necessary as we are in a deeper union, a deeper “oneness” if you will, will all people and creation.  

Jesus goes on to say that God pulls and shapes and molds folks together, and that what God calls together, we are to honor it.  Again, taking a deeper trajectory towards God’s desire for us to be one and to honor that there are seasons of life where we are called together.

God also gives us grace and calls things into being out of what may have felt like death.  Whether those of us here today are in a relationship or not, we have probably experienced a death in a relationship at some point, either metaphorically or physically.   And, again, it’s good to remember that no matter what our stories are, that in life, there is birth, death, and rebirth…resurrection of some sort.  There is a cycle of growth in our faith tradition that leads to wholeness no matter what our relationship status is.  

Jesus is speaking more to the matter of one’s heart, Moses, or Jewish Law, gave concessions for divorce because of a hardness of heart, and unwillingness to grow, to change, and to be in covenant relationships with one another.  

All of life is gift, and those that come and go in our lives are gifts…and, when we are with others, we know that those relationships can be sources of joy as well as hard and trying.  Yet, it’s still gift.  

Our gospel lesson goes on to share a story about children wanting to come to Jesus.  But, the disciples were on some sort of exclusive power play.  They didn’t want to be inconvenienced so they rebuked the children.  Jesus was indignant, mad, frustrated.  He in turn rebuked the disciples and told the children to come to him.  

As we’ve said today and in previous weeks, children were non-persons,  they were on the margins, yet Jesus says that the kingdom of God, God’s Presence, is with them!  Jesus is saying explicitly to his audience and to us today, if you want to enter the Kingdom, if you want to experience God’s Presence, you must welcome those on the margins.  And, we must be willing to identify with those on the margins.  Jesus is not giving some romantic notion that we must become like little children in all of their innocence, Jesus is saying we must be willing to have our identities shaped by those on the margins and our relationship with them.  We must be so committed to those on the margins, that we are one with them, that we are identified with them.  And, that we have a trust beyond circumstances that we’ve talked about…and that begins in being like children before we put on the egos that we created to make it in this world.  

This passage says so much to us as image bearers of God, we must be willing to stand with the homeless, the refugee, the immigrant, the foreigner, those who are different in any shape, color, orientation, or background from us.  Jesus has this object lesson with children to tell us throughout time, that God does not show favoritism and that God’s church, God’s body, must not as well.  God is calling us to be one with God’s self, and God’s self is one with all of humanity.  It’s fitting that we have this passage today on oneness with all, even those on the margins, those different from us, as we perform this sacred moment or sacrament of the Lord’s Supper, reminding us of the relational commitment that God has made to us in creating, saving, and sustaining us.  This same God who calls us into responding to that commitment to us by recognizing and  living in God’s oneness with us.